


Just Say It

by heyheyheyx1



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2020-11-28 23:50:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20952830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyheyheyx1/pseuds/heyheyheyx1
Summary: Hi! this is the first ever fic I have ever made. I just suddenly thought of this and since I don't want to forget how painful my imagination was, I made this. Hehe~ I've been shipping Ryeonseung and I loved their interaction. I hope my fellow ryeonseung trash would like this. woooot~





	1. I know. I'm Dumb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! this is the first ever fic I have ever made. I just suddenly thought of this and since I don't want to forget how painful my imagination was, I made this. Hehe~ I've been shipping Ryeonseung and I loved their interaction. I hope my fellow ryeonseung trash would like this. woooot~

"Ah! Baby, that's so hot. Hmm you're so hot". Seungwoo exclaimed, as he pulls out his dick slowly from Seungyoun's hole, his cum dripping off and slowly leaking down on the back of Seungyoun's thigh. Seungyoun sighed, dropped his stomach on the bed, face buried on the pillow. Seungwoo, as always, wipe Seungyoun clean before he go to shower.

It's always been like this. For almost year now, their relationship has just been like this. 

Seungwoo was on his junior years in the university and was the captain of the soccer team. Seungyoun was a rookie everyone was waiting for. He was well known due to his skills in playing soccer, as well as his academic standing. Being handsome is just a bonus, but a lot of people always go crazy for how tall and handsome he is.

His coach has been eyeing him when he was playing in a famous high school in Seoul. Since he is a well-known player, their university wants to make sure he’ll be in the varsity team. They offered him scholarship (which Seungyoun doesn’t really need, anyway. Not to mention how his parents own about 5 restaurants with 10 different branches for each. Other connections and business not included in the list – in conclusion, he is rich). Since Seungyoun and his parents believed that the school will take care of him, and the university is well known to be good at sports, producing Olympic caliber athletes, they agreed on enrolling Seungyoun in the said university.

“Hey guys come over. Meet the much awaited rookie! Cho Seungyoun!”

The coach called out the whole team on the court side. The team was doing their daily laps around the field when Seungyoun arrived. The whole team was clapping their hands and shouting.

“Well I guess we are bagging the championship again this year!” Said the tall, fair (and honestly handsome) guy. 

“Aye captain Han with his confidence again~” The coach replied as he taps ‘Han’s’ shoulder.

“By the way Seungyoun, this is Han Seungwoo, our team captain. He is one of our key players here; he can help you a lot.”

Seungwoo smiled at him. He offered his hand, Seungyoun reached it and shook it firmly.

“Let’s work together, alright?” The older tightens the handshake and smiled even brighter. Seungyoun reminded himself that the sun is up there in the sky, and not down here in this captain’s smile.

One month had passed and Seungwoo has always been a one-call-away-hyung to Seungyoun. This is the first time Seungyoun ever lived alone, so sometimes he needs someone to accompany him to buying packs of pain relievers, cooling pads, even socks.

“Yah, Seungyoun-ah. The university always gives us loads of socks every month. Won’t you use them?” Seungwoo asked, giggling at him.

Seungyoun scratches his head and shyly responded to the question. “I like branded ones.”

Seungwoo ruffles his hair and giggles cutely at him again. “Cute.”

As they walk around, they are making sure they walk quite fast for Seungyoun to not go home past the curfew. They are silent. They are not that close, yet. But they’ve become partners in every play. They have this rhythm on the field, that it actually made a connection even outside soccer.

"Seungyoun-ah, wanna be my roommate? Yohan, you know him? He was supposed to be my roomate before, he was about same age as you. He moved out since he already has a boyfriend and they practically wanna live together." Seungwoo breaks the silence, fake cries as he pity himself for not having a love of his own.

Seungyoun pats his hyung’s shoulder as he consoles his lonely ass. Seungyoun agreed, though. Who doesn't want to have a cool roommate though? And since he is a rookie, being close with a senior would be a lot of help.

“Sure, hyung. I’ll move there day after tomorrow. Where do you live by the way?”

“PD residence, two blocks away from our university. We can just walk to school! convenient, right?”

Seungyoun would find himself being cuddled by Seungwoo every night. He receives soft kisses on his cheek and forehead every morning. Heck, Seungwoo would even cook fried rice for him with eggs almost burnt. He'd enjoy eating them anyway.

He learned so much about Seungwoo in a span of 3 months. He doesn’t know how to swim. Could you believe? The well respected Captain, despite younger than most of their teammates, he was entrusted to lead the team, cannot swim? And guess what! He cannot eat spicy food, either.

He is such a clingy guy. At first, he thought he was just being clingy. _But does being clingy include kisses on my lips? But does being clingy include back hugs and soft kisses on my neck._

"Hyung, what are we?"

For the past 6 months, Seungyoun and Seungwoo have grown too close with each other. Sometimes their kisses gets too deep, sometimes they touch each other on the most sensitive parts. 

But neither of them says anything about their relationship. They only get clingy, intimate..horny..when they are alone in their shared apartment. Outside, they are just normal friends who hang around, train and go home together.

There's deafening silence between them. Seungyoun regretted his question when Seungwoo is taking too long to respond. His fingers fidget inside the pocket of his jacket. The cold breeze blows on his face continuously as both of them spend some time on the roof top of the school's main building.

"We are..enjoying each other’s company….right? No pressure. Just us, having each other’s back like best friends you know. With something going on but yeah..like best friends."

_Like best friends my ass_. He swallows the bitterness on his tongue, a lump forming on his throat as he fight back the tears threatening to flow down on his cheeks. Instead, he laughs it out. Hoping it wouldn't sound bitterly sarcastic just like how he feels right now. _I feel pathetic._

"Yeah. I know. It's better like this, I guess….we can do whatever we want but still have each other's back….yes."

Seungwoo smiles at him. 

_How can he give me this genuine smile after calling me a best friend when we literally kiss each other almost every day? How can he hold my hand so dearly now? How can he be so warm? How can he look at me so lovingly like that? Please stop giving me hope._

Months passed, and Seungyoun got used to this set up. 

Every after their soccer training, When they are left alone in the locker room, Seungwoo would steal a kiss on Seungyoun's lips. Seungwoo would sometimes squeeze Seungyoun's hand under table if they eat lunch together with their teammates. He would always volunteer to massage Seungyoun's leg that has been hurting. Seungwoo has entrusted Seungyoun on taking care of his knee, he only wants Seungyoun to touch his knee. 

But what are they? Best friends. Every time Seungwoo treats him sweetly, endearingly, fucks him senselessly, calls him sweet nothings directly on his ears, squeezes his butt when no one is looking, everything that Seungwoo does drives him crazy, gives him tons of hope, but at the end of the day..he will dismiss all of these thoughts, all these hopes that grows in his heart. "I'm his bestfriend. We are just friends. Nothing more, nothing less".

  
  
  
  


One night.

no.

several nights.

Seungwoo went home in their apartment, drunk. Some hickeys visible on his neck, his lips obviously plumper, hair disheveled, and his cheeks are rosy. 

For the past 2 weeks, he became different. He is starting to be different. Sometimes he is sweet, sometimes he goes home obviously wrecked like this. Sometimes they don't eat dinner together, sometimes they don't even sleep together. He'll just meet Seungwoo in their training. he sometimes purposely kick the ball too hard towards Seungwoo to let him know he is deeply upset.

And he fucking hates it. 

Fucking hell. 

Fucking hell.

Seungyoun wants to smack his face, punch him, kick him, shout at him but he can't. He can't even make himself hate on his Hyung.

Every single touch, kiss, and apology can make his disappointments and sadness go away. Seungwoo can just kiss him softly on the lips and hug him tightly and all these rage inside him subsides, vanishes. 

He hates it. He hates how affected he can be but Seungwoo doesnt even care. Seungyoun only kisses Seungwoo's lips..but his hyung kisses others too. 

But what can he do? He doesn't own him. He doesn't have any rights to be jealous, to order him to stop meeting others and just focus on him. He can't do anything about his jealousy, his sadness, his need. 

  


I'm just a bestfriend anyway.

\----------------

"What are we, Hyung?"

They went up to the roof top of the university’s main building. They look around and appreciates the view, gulping on cans of root beer, munching on numerous junk food.

Seungyoun, like the kid he is, always tells funny stories to him. He mimicks their other teammates well. He also imitates how Kang Minhee's (a soccer player under the university’s highschool division) satoori slips out when the kid is scared. Or copy Dohyon's (also part of the highschool soccer team) konglish and his habit of squishing his hyungs' cheeks. He loves mimicking the sound of a chicken, he even made different versions of it. He gotta admit that he never wants this kid away from him. not now, after finally having some time, and even living with him on the same roof.

But what are they really? To be honest….he doesn't know. And he is not sure of what to do with this relationship. The last relationship he have still haunts him. And the thought of his last lover breaks his heart a little.

He is a jerk. A selfish jerk. He knows and it is obvious. Seungyoun likes him. and yes, he is taking advantage of Seungyoun's feeling. 

This will work out, right? No one will be hurt. No one is bound in a relationship that gives out empty promises. If I don't like it anymore I can just stop anytime I want. Right? 

"We are….enjoying each other’s company…..right? No pressure. Just us, having each other’s back like best friends you know. With something going on but yeah..like best friends."

"Yeah. I know. It's better like this, I guess..we can do whatever we want but still have each other's back..yes."

He responds with a smile, but deep down his heart, he expected for Seungyoun to protest, to ask for more than this. But it is better this way. No expectations. They have nothing but them enjoying each other’s presence.

\-----------------------

"Seungwoo hyung I'm staying at Hangyul's and Yohan's tonight. We're having a group study".

Seungwoo received a message from Seungyoun. This is the 3rd night Seungyoun is out of their apartment. Seungyoun asked a week off from training because he said his legs need some rest. But he always go to university first, and then goes home late or... He doesn't go home at all.

"Okay. Take care. please don't skip your meals. And also don't work too much your legs need rest, too". He replied. 

Usually, Seungyoun would reply quickly with some cringy pick up lines. Or a selfie. Or a meme. But this time…..he didn't reply. He is worried. _I can’t keep still. What if he hurts his leg without me beside him?_

He has been out his mind for the last 2 weeks. He is dumb. Yes. He is such a jerk, yes. But he will forget all the shit that happened within 2 weeks and make it up to Seungyoun. But, he is not here. What will he do? _What will I do?_

  


The next day, Seungyoun went home. It was a cold Saturday night. Seungwoo watched Seungyoun drop his bag on the couch, without batting an eye on him. Seungyoun went straight to the kitchen and grabbed his favorite cereal.

"I missed you. I missed you so much."

\-------------------------------

“I don’t wanna bother you with this and I want you guys to talk about this on your own. It’s not like you are boyfriends already but. Seungyoun, you’ve been having a hard time I know-“

Seungyoun cut Yohan’s sentence off, irritated, anxious, and sad all of the same time and Yohan blabbering does not help at all. “What is this about Yohan? Tell me right away.”

“Well…last 3 days ago, I saw Seungwoo hyung…Well I and Hangyul saw him at the bar. We were about to walk near him when someone suddenly cling his arms around Seungwoo hyung’s neck. He was…he was dancing with him, too close. I thought it was just a normal guy, and maybe Seungwoo hyung is just drunk. However Hangyul told me that they were a famous couple before….”

Seungyoun suddenly was able to piece everything piece by piece. The reason why Seungwoo was so out of touch, was detached, push and pull, and hard to understand for the past 2 weeks. Seungwoo mentioned him before. He was his first boyfriend, his first heartbreak.

“Ah. Wooseok.”

His knees are weak. His whole body tensed, he feels as if anytime, he will collapse. His stomach hurts, it is digging in too deep, anxiousness and insecurity eating him slowly. _Am I not enough?_

He could not find the answer for the past few days. But he knows, he knows only one man can shake the calm and collected Han Seungwoo. He knew that one time Seungwoo went out of their apartment to answer a call, he knew it must be him. It must be Wooseok.

But he always just shrug it off. He doesn’t want to believe it. He does not want to confront him. He can’t let Seungwoo go. If it means hurting, he is willing.

However, this time, it is clearer. The reason they can’t make this official, the reason why every time Seungwoo tries to open up, he suddenly goes back to default mode.

_I know Seungwoo hyung. I know. I tried, but I can’t help holding onto the hopes you gave me._

_\-------_

"I missed you. I missed you so much."

He felt strong arms wrapped around his waist. Seungwoo hugged him from behind, burying his face on the crook of his neck. He can feel Seungwoo's wet kisses on his neck as he repeatedly whispers "I miss you".

He didn't respond. 

_Horny again? You only miss me when you are horny? Why not kiss another guy this time? _

He is fighting the urge to moan, the urge to turn around and kiss his hyung's luscious lips, cling on his arms and grind on his erection.

No. He can't let his hyung win again. He is tired. He wants this to end.

Seungwoo stopped kissing his neck. He buried his face on the younger's shoulder and sighed.

"Are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?"

Seungyoun, keeping it together for the past few months, just couldn't bring himself not to laugh at his hyung's question.

He turned around, removing his hyung's arms hastily off of his waist.

"Something wrong? Ha! Fuck you!"

He laughed a painful laugh. He holds onto his shirt, grabbed it as he squeeze his shirt, trying to stop his heart from aching. He dropped on his knees and cried.

"Going home obviously wrecked, with marks on your neck. Sometimes when you are out, you don't answer my texts and made me fucking worry? Just to know you were drinking and having the time of your life with some other guy? You didn't sleep with me for how many days. You were hot and cold, push and pull. I couldn't get a hold of you."

He looks up, now Seungwoo is also in his knees, kneeling in front of him, looking at the ground.

"Now you are asking me what you did wrong? We are fucking, kissing, cuddling, but what? Best friends. You told me we are just fucking best friends. For a year now I've been having a hard time. But you always cross the line, but goes back to your shell again. What do I expect? You are just my best friend, right?"

"Do you even love me hyung, or I am just a rebound? You still love him right? You still love Wooseok hyung..."

Seungyoun smiled weakly. He shakes his head as he laughs again. Seungwoo is taking too long to respond again….this familiar deafening silence again every time he is confronted. Seungyoun feels as if his heart is slowly breaking into pieces, his chest forming a big deep void, as if Seungwoo is taking some parts of Seunyoun with him, and instead of taking care of the part he took, he dropped it and watch it shatter.

_How could he hold me like that, kiss me like that, when all this time...it has always been Wooseok_.

"You think I didnt know? Do you think I am too dumb to notice? I knew it. I knew you never looked at me the same way, hyung. I love you. I love you but I will never be enough, right?”

He stood up too quickly, wishing to run away out of this house. But his vision went too blurry…after few seconds, he passed out.


	2. If I stay with you

"S-Seungyoun-ah!"

Seungwoo carefully carried Seungyoun and put him down on his bed. He ran towards the kitchen, pulled out basin from their drawer and filled it with water. He went back to their room with the basin in his hand. He placed it on the top of the table beside the bed. He took out a clean towel from his gym bag, dipped it in the water, and squeezed out the excess water. He started to damp Seungyoun's face with the wet towel.

"...You have a fever, Seungyounie."

He stared at Seungyoun. He missed the younger. He missed his cheeks, his eyes that turn to crescent when he laughs, his lovely voice every time he sings for him, his jokes, the way he calls his name. He missed his warmth, the way he rubs his back when he is having a hard time, the way he takes care of him when his knee hurts.

Seungwoo cups Seungyoun’s cheeks gently; he knows Seungyoun likes the warmth of his palm on his cheeks. He brush the younger’s fringe off of his face, his hair grown longer. The under of his eyes are obviously darker. He looks pale and stressed. His lips are chapped, and it seems like his cheeks is not as full as they were naturally.

_No one, Seungyoun-ah. No one can do it like you do._

_I did not even notice that you’re changing. I did not even notice that you’ve been having a hard time putting up with me. You were always there to make me feel loved and wanted, that I enjoyed it too much. I am sorry, Seungyoun-ah. But please, don’t give up on me. _

He reached for Seungyoun’s hand, intertwining his fingers with the younger, holding it near his lips. He pecked on the back of Seungyoun’s hand, eyes shut, thinking of all the shit he’s done.

He was so stupid to let his past ruin him again. Those nights he thought Seungyoun would not mind his actions; he thought the younger would still be the same because he has always been like that. No matter what he does, the younger would not treat him any less. He is such a mess, but Seungyoun always pick him up and treasures him like he is the most precious person in the world.

_I took advantage of your love for me, Seungyoun-ah. I only cared for my own feelings. I took it out on you, not realizing that I am treating you the way I was treated. The damage I’ve done in you is unforgiveable…but please, Seungyoun-ah. Please._

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Captain~ come here at Plan A bar, let’s have some drinks!”

Seungwoo received a message from his old teammate. They were his seniors when he first joined the soccer team in the university. Today is their annual meeting and catching up. He rarely attends though since he was always busy ever since he became the team captain, he needed to watch tons of soccer games from different high schools and universities to scout and study their play. On top of that, he is just tired of his old teammate bringing up his past ‘love life’. It’s not good when he was removing that in his system, people just can’t help but talk about it. But now, he thinks he is getting better. He’s been doing good. It didn’t take him too long to overcome, but he’ll be a liar when he denies that it still affects him because it does.

“Hyung, I can’t join today I need to go home I have tons of things to finish.”

“Yah, Seungwoonie~ you rarely come here~ hyung really missed you~~ come here quickly I have surprise for you! You’ll like it~~~~~”

He sighed. _This hyung is probably drunk now. _He slipped his phone back in his pocket then went straight to the nearest bus station to attend their annual drinking session (lol). _Surprise? I did not ask him for anything, though? What would he give me?_

He arrived in the bar almost 30 minutes since his hyung forced him to meet them. The bar is packed since it is Friday and the hell week in universities is about to end, students need breather too. He walked past through drunk people, bumped onto some dancing couples, scanning around, looking for familiar faces. When he saw them, he waved his hand and went straight to their table.

“Here he is, my beloved dongsaeng~~~~ and oh, Guess what’s my surprise for you?”

“What, hyung?”

“oh wait~ wait~ it’s not what, actually. Who! Guess who!!!”

He furrows his eyebrows as he looked at everyone around the table. They are all clapping and they seem to be excited. _What the hell is happening? _

They all stopped clapping and all of them looked at me. After few seconds, I felt the couch dipping and an arm wrapped on my shoulder.

“Hi Seungwoo. Long time no see?” His lips are almost touching his ear, the warmth of his breath send chills down his spine.

“There! That is my surprise! He just arrived from Japan, yesterday! It's been awhile!” His hyung exclaimed with the brightest smile and the loudest clap.

Indeed. It is a surprise. For the past 3 years, he felt it again. The pain, anger, and embarrassment are starting to grow inside him again. He was successful in killing these emotions, he is now starting to open up and build a new love. He was ready to take the risk with Seungyoun.

No. He doesn’t love Wooseok anymore. He doesn’t want to be with Wooseok anymore. Not even near him, nor hear his voice, his name. No. He hates him so much for breaking not just his heart, but the image he built for himself - His confidence and pride, his calmness and wit. He was steps further than anyone else. _How could he treat me like a trash when all I ever did was to take care of him, love him. He lead me on, manipulated me into thinking that he’d catch me if I fall. He did this to me. _

“What are you doing here?” Seungwoo was quick to remove Wooseok’s arm on his shoulder, he moved away from Wooseok and darts back to his hyung who invited him.

“What the fuck is your problem, hyung?”

“Aigoo~ we all know you still like him right? That was a long time ago, Seungwoonie. Both of you can start again, right? There’s nothing wrong with being gay!”

His seniors are all laughing at him now. This time, it’s not excitement, it’s not genuine. He can feel it in his bones that they are mocking him, now. Heck, they are even re-enacting what happened 3 years ago, with their exaggerated lines that Seungwoo did not even say. Wooseok is laughing at everything that they are saying and doing. He was even clarifying some details, and adding more scenarios that they ‘missed out’ so the story could be completed.

_That’s it. That is why I never really liked joining this annual shit. They say it’s okay but they are lowkey making fun of me. No surprise Wooseok agreed on this shit. They are all shit. If they were not my seniors, I wouldn’t even answer their messages. They clearly know what Wooseok did to me, but they use him to shit on me all the time. Fuck. Fuck._

Seungwoo drank 3 bottles of soju, straight up to the last drop. He sighed as loud as he can, stood up quickly, and clutched his gym bag on his hand. He slams 5,000 won on the table and made sure he slammed the table so hard, they could snap back to reality and realize that the one they are making fun of is with them. Everyone around the table stared at him, the laughs are slowly dying as they try to divert their topic about the university’s soccer team.

“So uhm- Seungwoo, how’s our –“

“I have no time to talk to all of you. Thank you for inviting me. That’s my share. I hope you enjoy the rest of the night.”

For the first time, since 3 years ago, Seungwoo was able to shut them up and talk back to them. He has been telling himself that they are his seniors and respecting them is the least he can do. But respect is not only for elderly, but for those who deserve it. And no, his seniors do not deserve any of his respect. Not anymore.

He did not bow, nor said a proper good bye. He turned around and headed towards the exit. However, before he could even walk meters away from their table, Wooseok grabbed his hand and pulled him to the center. Wooseok is way smaller than him, but this guy’s arm strength is unbelievably strong. As much as Seungwoo wants to escape from Wooseok’s grip, he is too drunk to even find his way out. Seungwoo is feeling dizzy. All he can see are strobe lights, smoke and blurred faces of people around him. He kept being pushed by the crowd, he can’t focus. He squints his eyes to see the surroundings clearly but he was distracted by arms wrapped around his neck, and as he slowly looked down, he saw those eyes. Those cat-like eyes that were once he ever wanted; he ever craved and wished for. Those were they eyes he only wanted to look at. But now, all he can feel is nothing but hate. He tried to push him away but the crowd just kept on squishing him and Wooseok closer.

“Wow. When did you become like this? You’ve become brave and feisty, huh? So, the rookie Seungwoo has grown so much. Do you still crave for my lips? You told me I was your favorite.”

Wooseok smiled at him playfully, teasingly. He was licking his lips, tiptoeing to get closer to him. If he was the same Seungwoo, he would’ve devoured this little guy in front of him, slam him on the floor and fuck him right then and there. He laughed at the smaller guy.

“You look too highly of yourself. Do you think I’d still be crazy about you? You are a manipulative bitch. You think I’d still look at you the same way after what you did to me? You are out of your mind, Wooseok.”

He was about to push Wooseok farther but the smaller guy aggressively pulled him closer by his nape, swayed his hips closer to Seungwoo’s crotch. Things are happening to quickly for his clowded head. He regrets drinking those soju. _I should’ve just acted arrogant without alcohol. Fuck why am I so dumb?_

“You’re always crazy for me, Seungwoo. Always.”

Wooseok hovers on him as he pulled him closer by his nape, his other arm snakes around Seungwoo’s waist. He bites on Seugwoo’s lower lip as he grinds on Seungwoo’s thigh. Seungwoo, even though drunk, was able to turn his head to avoid Wooseok’s kisses. He thought Wooseok would stop his antics when he couldn’t reach Seungwoo’s lips. But after avoiding his lips, Wooseok targets his neck and sucks on his skin. Seungwoo feels dirty, disgusted of his own body. His mind can’t control his body due to the alcohol draining the remaining energy he has. He wants to cry. Seungyoun’s face, laugh, and voice are filling his head. He feels guilty and ashamed. _How can I face Seungyoun in this state? How?_

“Stop! Please stop!” Seungwoo cried out weakly. He can’t feel anything. His head is throbbing; he can feel piercing pain on his brain. His legs are shaking and his hands are trembling as he tries to push Wooseok far from him. He can hear his senior calling him, softly tapping on his cheeks, while the rest of his senior seem to be stopping wooseok from getting any closer.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Seungyoun massages his temple as he tries to sit up slowly on the bed. He does not remember how he reached the bed, but he remembered everything that happened awhile ago. He can feel the void in his chest getting bigger and deeper as he stares at the man that caused this damage in him. Seungwoo is sitting on a stool beside his bed. He is resting his head on the edge of the bed, holding onto Seungyoun’s hand. He is sleeping soundly. As much as he loves this view, he slowly pulled his hand away from Seungwoo’s touch. He missed the warmth, but he needs to end whatever it is between them. He is done playing this game. He only loses to his hyung, anyway.

“Seungyounie, you’re awake. A-are you okay?” Seungwoo woke up after Seungyoun pulled away his hand. He stands up and coos closer to his face. The older rubs Seungyoun’s cheeks, his other hand checking the temperature on the younger’s forehead. Seungyoun bit his lips as he tries to avoid Seungwoo’s eyes. No. He can’t look at those eyes. He needs to stop himself or else he’ll subject himself for heartbreak, another round of false hopes, sweet nothings, and love with no assurance. He turns his head, pushed Seungwoo’s hand away from his face.

“I’m moving out.”

“Seungyoun-ah, please let me explain. Please. I miss you, I miss you so much please. Stay. Please.”

“I want this to end. I’m just gonna hurt myself if I stay longer in this kind of relationship…If I stay longer with you. I am no longer happy, hyung. So please, let’s stop this.”

Seungyoun stepped out of the bed, head towards the door and locked it, leaving Seungwoo behind. He quickly leaves their apartment - Seungwoo's apartment - and runs as fast as he could. Every step that he make, every step away from Seungwoo, are gallons of tears running down his cheeks. 

He lied. Every moment with Seungwoo makes him happy, every moment with Seungwoo is every reason of his heart beat. But....where would this one sided love take him? 


	3. You could've said it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minhee thinks their dumb. He just wanna help.

“Han Seungwoo! Cho Seungyoun! What the hell is wrong with the both of you? I know that official games will start next semester, but why are you guys so irresponsible like this?”

Their coach yelled at them. They are having their daily training in the evening, doing rounds of plays for hours, and until now, Seungwoo and Seungyoun kept on messing their plays. They couldn’t even dribble the ball properly. They were just kicking the ball aimlessly, and their defense? Even an elementary spare player would’ve run pass them. In short, they are not in the right condition to play. Seungwoo feels the most responsible. First, he is the team captain. Second, he is responsible for Seungyoun’s state as well.

“Coach, sorry-“ even before Seungwoo could even finish his sentence, their coach cut his sentence off.

“I don’t need your apologies. Go back there in the middle of the field. Practice your fucking dribbling basics for an hour, after that, do 100 laps around the track.”

It’s been weeks since Seungyoun moved out from their shared apartment. _I couldn’t even call it our apartment now. Damn. _Seungyoun does not even spend a second to look at Seungwoo. Even if Seungwoo is discussing team work matters to all of them. He follows, but does not reply enthusiastically like before. _He usually agrees, or if he feels like there’s need to be improvement in our plan, he’d butt in right away. He is always engrossed and is participative every meeting. But now, he is detached…from me. _

Seungyoun bowed to their coach and run towards the center of the field. Picked up a muddy soccer ball and started kicking the ball. Seungwoo was about to follow but his coach grabbed his shoulder lightly, making him to turn around and face his coach, a slightly taller man.

“I don’t know what happened to the both of you. I told you before that I don’t really care if you guys in the team will be couples but, I hope you guys, won’t bring your personal issues in the team…..and if you like him, tell him Seungwoo-yah.”

“Dongwook hyung. H-how did you know?”

“I am your coach, Seungwoo. I’ve known you since you were in highschool. I know you. Please fix this as soon as possible. Not just for the team..but especially for the both of you.”

Seungwoo is trying. Seungwoo has been trying to initiate the conversation. When they are left in their dug out, he would walk near him, but Seungyoun is quick to avoid his gaze. When they were asked if they fought, he would smile and say ‘no no we good’. Seungwoo would wait outside the building of Seungyoun’s department, but Yohan and Hangyul are quick to drag him away. _They probably hate me, too. They look like they are about to kick me on the face. _One time, during lunch, he sat next to Seungyoun, but he immediately switch places with their other teammate. Even if he is not done eating, he would leave the cafeteria as soon as Seungwoo steps in.

Now, while Seungwoo is dribbling the ball, he is stealing glances on Seungyoun. After weeks, he can finally see Seungyoun this close. His chest sank deep from the thought, but he is happy to see him again. He glistens from sweat, his fringe sticks on his forehead, while his hair bounces as he dribbles the ball using the top of his head.

“Seungyoun-ah?”

“What?”

_That was the coldest response I ever heard from you. You always answer me fondly, sweetly and cutely…_

“Let’s have Mcdonald’s later. If it’s okay?”

“I don’t want.”

While Seungwoo is still thinking of any excuse so he could persuade Seungyoun to have a dinner with him, Seungyoun turns around and jogs away from Seungwoo. _Oh yeah. We still have 100 laps around the field._

He was trying to keep up with Seungyoun’s pace, but he does not want to over strain his knee. And he knows that when he tries to get close to him again, Seungyoun would also over strain his leg. He’s been complaining how it hurts weeks ago when he was still staying in his apartment. So, he slowed down and watched Seungyoun’s back, running away and slowly going farther…and farther away from him.

Indeed, every time he tries to gets close, he would only hurt Seungyoun.

_____________________________________________________________________

“How long will you stay away from Seungwoo hyung? You know you can’t be like this forever. You are teammates.”

Seungyoun is with Yohan and Hangyul again. They initially went to a coffee shop to review for their pending assessments. They weren’t able to do it on the original date due to their athletic meets in between the semester. Individual sports like martial arts and track and field are held during the first semester, ball sports and other group sports are during the second semester but they still need to attend calibrations and interschool programs. Today, however, their supposed group study leads to another drinking session, again. After their training – their coach’s punishment, Seungyoun quickly finishes 100 laps to escape from Seungwoo’s invitation to eat in mcdonald’s. _Good thing I wasn’t so stupid enough to accept the offer. I am a strong independent man. Yes. _

“I know, Yohan. I just…needed some time away and learn to live on my own. I’ve been so dependent on him. And like what I told you, he doesn’t like me. I’m just gonna hurt myself if I keep staying with him.”

“Then…ask for closure. End whatever you have, like you know, a proper break-up? Okay I know you are not like legit couple, but resolve this before you guys affect the whole team.”

He heaves a sigh. Of course, one of his top priorities is the championship. The team also expects a lot from him because he is a rookie that’s been mentioned in any collegiate related articles and news. He can’t let the team down. But, as much as he wants to focus, Seungwoo’s totality distracts him. His voice, his presence, even hearing his name shakes him. He misses him so much, so much that the only thing he could do now is watch him from afar. Because he is afraid that when their eyes meet, he might lose his mind and run back to Seungwoo’s arms.

“Yah, Hangyul, Seungyoun, are you guys really sure that Seungwoo hyung doesn’t like you, Seungyoun? I mean you’ve been doing this for a year. For sure he’s developed some feels you know. He looks at you so fondly and he always try to initiate talk with you!”

“Oh please Yohan. Seungwoo hyung looks fondly to literally everyone. He is probably just guilty for what he did to Seungyoun.”

The couple is bickering. To Seungyoun, they both have valid arguments. But like the man that he is, he is leaning more to whatever Hangyul was saying. _Yes, he is just guilty. He probably just wants to say sorry. No, he just misses the idea of being with me but not me. _

“Yohan-ah. I’m done with false hopes. I don’t want to hold on that again. Not anymore.”

It’s Saturday again. Since the athletic department requested the registrar’s office to make sure that every soccer athlete will have a Wednesday-Saturday vacant, they will spend almost half of the day running, dribbling, and executing plays. He lazily grabs the towel that’s hanging on his swivel chair and went to the bathroom to wash. _Saturday, another day of fighting the urge to kiss Seungwoo on the lips._

“Seungwo hyung~”

Kang Minhee is a graduating in Senior Highs school and the school, especially Coach Dongwook, wants him in the team. He is not in his best form yet, but he is oozing with potential. They could not let the kid be in other competitive university.

From the other side of the field, Minhee excitedly runs towards his favorite hyung - Seungwo. _Minhee likes me too but he totally loves his Seungwoo hyung. Good thing I have my son, Dohyon, who literally follows everything I do. _He tried his best not to smile while watching this mini father and son reunion.

“Aigoo, my boy Minhee is here. Where is Dohyonie?” He asked fondly while ruffling the hair of the slightly taller kid. Seungyoun knows that Dohyon is having his piano recital this morning. He will be here in the afternoon session.

“Dohyon has recitals later this morning. But he’ll be here later to join the afternoon session, right Seungyoun hyung?” Seungyoun did not even realize he was staring at the both of them until Minhee called him. He nods his head and smiled at the younger.

“Uh. Yeah. He told me like weeks ago and he’s been texting me about it.” He laughed. Probably the most genuine laugh since the day he moved out.

“Ah. So it’s gonna be today? He once told me but didn’t mention the exact date.” Seungwoo replied.

Minhee joined the training today. He’s told to warm up and to start being friends with the rest of the team. He’s gonna be playing with them in the near future so starting the connection with them as early as possible would be very helpful. Today, Seungyoun tried playing it cool. He tried setting aside everything that bothers him. _Focus, Seungyoun-ah. We gotta get that championship next semester. _Aiming to make the play successful, Seungyoun mentally prepare for a powerful kick. He dribbles the ball on right side of the field, finding the right angle to hit the goal, he kicked the ball so powerfully that when he lands on his feet, he felt a stinging pain at the back of his leg.

“Coach! My leg hurts!”

___________________________________________________________________

Seungwoo was monitoring Seungyoun, from behind, waiting whether he is going to pass the ball to him. But he noticed that Seungyoun is determined to score. _He is not going to kick the ball from there..that is too far from the goal. He’s gonna strain his leg. _

And he did. Seungyoun is frozen in his position. He can’t move. He knows that when he moves, the pain in his leg will be doubled. As much as he wants to run towards him, wrap his arms around Seungyoun’s shoulder and guide him back to the dugout…. He can’t. For sure, the younger will just refuse.

“Minhee-yah, can you help Seungyoun? Bring him to the dugout. There’s an ice box near the locker, there is an ice pack in there. Assist him, is that okay?”

Seungwoo whispered to Minhee. He trusts his teammate, but he just want to make sure that Seungyoun will be treated carefully. Their teammates and he needs to stay for the whole morning session. It’ll be practical to let Minhee help him out.

“Seungyoun hyung, let me help you!”

____________________________________________________________

“Oh! Thank you, Minhee! But I can handle myself look I can wal-“

When he took 2 steps towards the dugout, he felt as if thousands of ants bit him under his skin, directly to his muscles and bones. _That shit hurts. _

_“_Pfft. Hyung, you are still making me laugh despite your condition right now. Seungwoo hyung told me to help you. He needs the rest of the team in the field. And he told me he only trusts me in taking care of you.”

_Does he really need to give me hope every single time? How can I move on from him? Fuck. Can’t you be participative in my moving on agenda, Seungwoo hyung?_

“Ah. I see. Okay. From that note, Minhee-ssi can you help the King Seungyoun?”

Seungyoun wrapped his arm on the younger’s shoulder, then the younger supported him by grabbing him by the waist. At this point, he shouldn’t be thinking of how Seungwoo did all of this for him. Due to Seungwoo clouding his head, he unconsciously turned his head and looked back at Seungwoo.

_Shit why is he looking this way. Shit shit shit._

Seungwoo has this unreadable expression when Seungyoun looked at him but right after meeting each other’s gaze, his eyes widen a bit, both of them shifts their attention. Minhee thinks their dumb.

Minhee helped Seungyoun by guiding his way to the dugout. After making Seungyoun sit on the bench, Minhee walked towards the locker and at the bottom, the huge ice box is there. He took out the ice pack and went back to Seungyoun. Seungyoun was laughing while watching the next big star doing these things for him. Minhee really took care of him. Pressing the ice pack on the back of his leg, tapping and massaging it to ease the cramps while Seungyoun was laying on his stomach on the bench. When Minhee was done doing the necessary preliminary measures for cramps, he sat down on the bench across Seungyoun.

“Hyung, do you know Wooseok hyung?”

The question was out of the blue. He did not see this coming. Why would the kid ask him this? He was about to answer Minhee’s question but the younger continued talking.

“He was a former school journalist. He is assigned to write on sports, so he always interviews the most talked about athletes in the university. Coach Dongwook told me about this. It is an open secret within the soccer team, or maybe in the whole university, that Seungwoo hyung liked Wooseok hyung before. Wooseok hyung always shows interest in Seungwoo hyung, probably because he is one of the most popular athletes in university and was also the most monitored player by other universities.”

Minhee sighed before rambling on the next part of his storty.

“Well, Coach Dongwook said that, everyone thought the Wooseok hyung liked Seungwoo hyung too. He always visits Seungwoo hyung on the field, asking him about random things, he even brings food for him. So when the team won their first championship last 3 years ago, Wooseok was there to interview him again. Seungwoo hyung surprisingly kissed Wooseok hyung on the lips in front of the team and declared that he likes Wooseok hyung so much. Well, to cut the story short. Wooseok hyung laughed at him, wiped his lips and said, he probably thinks that Wooseok like him, but he was just interviewing him. That was just part of his job. And he said that he does not swing that way.”

“Why are you telling me this?” He slowly sits up from laying on his stomach.

“Seungwoo hyung doesn't like Wooseok hyung anymore. Seungwoo hyung was on a slump for months because of humiliation and heartbreak. His old teammates make fun of him for being gay. His old teammates invited Wooseok in their annual meet up without him knowing. They made fun of him again, hyung. What I am saying is, I know that both of you are not in good terms. But, I guess Seungwoo is just… scared.”

Seungyoun is processing everything in his head. Seungwoo never really went into details about his past. This is the first time he is hearing all of this. He does not know what to feel. He feels sad, he feels bad. This information makes his head hurt too much. He could not respond to the younger sitting across him.

“I am sorry hyung. I know that Seungwoo hyung is such an asshole for treating you like this. And I also want the both of you to resolve your problem on your own. But I can’t keep still seeing how both of you changed. I just want to help.” Minhee stoopd up from his seat and bowed to Seungyoun before heading out of the dugout.

_Seungwoo hyung. You could’ve told me. You should’ve said it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry. It took me a week to update this. TT - TT I was soooo busy. I hope this chapter give light to some ambiguous parts. TT u TT


	4. Make him understand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know better, hyung." 
> 
> Well, does he?

Seungwoo couldn’t keep still while he was monitoring his teammates’ play. He would go in and out of the field to tell them what to do next, or what technique they could do, to whom they should pass the ball, and when to kick it for goal. He is doing well, now. Compared to past weeks, he is more focused in training.

Maybe because he was called out by his coach, or maybe because he kind of accepted the reality – He was a shit, a dumb piece of shit, and because of his shitty self, he is losing (or maybe he have lost) the chance of being with Seungyoun again. It’s not new to him – to act like everything is doing well despite the pain he is feeling. However, it’s different this time. He can’t find the words to express how painful it is to see Seungyoun from afar, sharing smiles with other people, being all giddy with his friends, but all Seungwoo ever get is blank expression, short replies, refusals. He changed. But _can I blame him? I did this to him. And even if all of his friends think I’m such an asshole…can I blame them? And even if I am hurting now…I have no one to blame but myself. _

Seungwoo saw Minhee walking out of the dug out and is jogging his way back on the field.

“Hey, Minhee! How’s Seungyoun?”

“Oh. I helped Seungyoun hyung ease the pain on the back of his legs. Not sure when he’s gonna go out, though.”

“Ah. I see.” Seungwoo looks at Minhee kind of suspiciously. Seungwoo has so many friends. But he only talks to Minhee about personal matters. He just feel safe with this kid, and even if he is years younger, Minhee knows what to say.

“You didn’t say anything to him, Minhee?” The tone is not a question but more of a threat. This kid likes to go out of his way to settle things on his own. Seungwoo just don’t want Minhee to meddle on his problems. The kid is too young to be stressed on matters like this.

“Huh? I-I didn’t! Oh hey Coach Dongwook! I gotta go and join them hyung. Bye!” Minhee taps his hyung’s shoulder right after denying his hyung’s accusation. Seungwoo just shook his head. _I hope he didn’t say anything. _

While the morning training is about to end, a squeaky squeal was heard from the other side of the field. Dohyon jumped out excitedly from his black luxury car and squeals his way to the field. Everyone just loves this kid. Who wouldn’t love a clingy giant baby who loves to eat anything? He went straight to Coach Dongwook and rubbed his cheeks with the older man. After that, he hugged Minhee and greeted the other teammates with a cheek rub, too. Seungwoo was about to approach the kid but Dohyon just bowed at him. He turned to the coach and spoke.

“Coach hyung! Where is Seungyoun hyung?”

Seungwoo, with a heavy heart, answered Dohyon.

“Ah. He is in the dug out. He’s resting his legs.”

“Okay.”

Maybe Dohyon knows. He is a baby but he observes well. He is a genius after all. Seungyoun is his favortite hyung, but Seungwoo is certain he comes second. Right, he broke his favorite hyung’s heart, he probably couldn’t look at him the same way. Again, _Can I blame him?_

“Okay! Let’s have a few minutes rest then let’s have another 2 hour play. After that, let’s have our lunch before starting the afternoon session! Oh, Dohyonie. Since you are here already, can you help your Seungwoo hyung in cleaning our soccer balls? You just need to clean it using the water hose at the back of the bleachers.”

Dohyon nodded his head, looked at Seungwoo and nodded at him too, without looking straight in the older’s eyes.

Dohyon is setting up the hose while Seungwoo is pushing the cart that carries the muddy soccer balls. It’s been drizzling from time to time so the balls get dirty easily. Seungwoo places the balls on the ground one by one, putting some of them under the sink so it wouldn’t roll away.

The silence is suffocating. He is not used to this. Dohyon would either rap around him, or sing songs his Seungyoun hyung suggested songs, or tell him random stories about the food he has been eating these days.

“Seungwoo hyung.”

Seungwoo was startled and was snapped back to reality when Dohyon broke the silence. He is still not looking at Seungwoo, but he turned off the faucet before speaking again.

“Seungyoun hyung didn’t tell me anything. But I know and I can feel that he likes you – no! – he loves you so much. He changed a lot these days, and you also changed a lot, hyung. You guys usually visit me and Minhee in our school. But in the past few weeks, you guys visit us separately.

Hyung. Out of all the people, shouldn’t you be the one who knows how one sided love feels like?”

Seungwoo was not able to respond to that, especially to the last sentence. He knows how it feels. He knows he’s been doing it to Seungyoun. This time, it hits differently when someone pointed it out. _I was THAT shitty._

“Sorry hyung if that is below the belt. But, don’t we want something that is true? Don’t we want something that is actually ours? Something that is … sure?

Hyung, if you like him, tell him. If you don’t, tell him. Make him understand. I know, I know I am too young and you probably know more about love than I do. You know better, hyung.”

Seungwoo just stood there frozen as he watches the younger clean all of the soccer balls and put all of those in the net, knotting it and placing it over the cart. Dohyon bowed at him before heading back on the field. _If only I didn’t let Wooseok ruin me again. If only I was honest with Seungyoun and told him what happened, maybe I could let myself free. This fucking pride, this fucking image I protected. If only I showed him who I was…maybe he is still here. I should’ve just said it. I love him..I should’ve told him that._

Seungwoo’s is pushing his cart towards the opposite direction where the balls should be placed. He went back to his senses when Minhee shouted at him.

“Hyung! The utilities are over there! You are going the wrong way!”

Seungwoo look in front of him, then to Minhee and turned his head to look back. _Oh the utility is there._

“Yeah got it! I was just roaming around you know.” Seungwoo scratches his nape and laughs awkwardly. Minhee thinks his hyung is dumb. Again.

“Actually hyung, you were going the right way if you wanna go to the dug out.” Minhee smiled at him teasingly as he pats the older’s shoulder.

“Dohyon and I have favoritism, you know. But we just want the best for our hyungs. Go ahead. Don’t let this chance pass. If he doesn’t like you anymore, then maybe that is the time you give up. But you still have a chance hyung. Ace this, just like how you ace everything.”

Seungwoo sighed, shook his head and smiled at Minhee. He ruffled the slightly taller’s hair and hugged him shortly. Minhee, the galaxy brain, knows what to say. Minhee salutes at him and runs towards Dohyon who is standing a few meters away from him. He watches Minhee wrap his arms around Dohyon’s shoulder. Before the could walk farther, Dohyon looked back at Seungwoo and raised a ‘thumbs up’ and showed his cheeky smile. _Maybe I still have a chance._

____________________________________

“Should I go out now? Or should I just stay here? Should I talk to him now? Wait…shouldn’t he be the one approaching me first!? Ah!!!”

Seungyoun is limping as he walks back and forth in the dug out. He lies his back on the long chair and tried to sleep his worries away, but it isn’t working.

He can only see Seungwoo’s face, his lips, his nose, his broad shoulders. He can even hear the older’s laugh. He even recalled all of his dad jokes and all of the random things they do as they walk down the street in Hongdae. The random dances, the horse sound he boasted to him, and the first tattoo he got in his chest. The tattoo artist misspelled it but he still loves the tattoo anyway. _Fuck. I love kissing that tattoo on his chest._

He frustratingly ruffles his hair as he thinks of a way to approach Seungwoo, or if he is ever going to approach him. _What if he got tired of following me? What if I was too pushy? Maybe I should’ve been kinder…Wait? Why would I? He hurt me! Wait? Am I just doing this as a revenge? Oh my God!! Why am I so petty!?_

Seungyoun stood up and has decided to approach Seungwoo, with all bravery and sternness. He was about to push the door open but –

“Seungwoo hyung…”

“Seungyoun-ah”

They called each others’ name at the same time when Seungwoo opened the door. Seungwoo was sweating and is breathing heavily. It is evident in his face that he is nervous.

“We need to talk.”

They spoke at the same time again. Seungwoo looked down at the floor while Seungyoun shifted his gaze to look around the dug out. _Why is Seungwoo hyung here. Oh my god, no. This is not part of the plan._

“Y-you go first…” Seungyoun looks at Seungwoo as the older slowly lifts his head to look at Seungyoun. The older is playing with his fingers and is finding a hard time to look at Seungyoun. _He is nervous…_

Seungwoo bit his lip, steps closer to him…then bent his knees and hugged Seungyoun’s thighs as he hang the younger on his Shoulder.

“H-hyung!” Seungyoun is too shocked to retaliate and fight Seungwoo. No- who was he kidding? He likes this. Still shocked, though. But he likes this.

Seungwoo entered the farthest shower cubicle, put Seungyoun down and he locked the cubicle door. He holds onto Seungyoun’s shoulder and pressed his back on the tiled wall.

“I- I really wanna say something. I planned this. But seeing you awhile ago, I suddenly forgot and I just wanna – “

Seungwoo was rambling on his words, and is rushing to finish his sentence but, he didn’t bother finishing it or making sense out of it. He slides his hand on Seungyoun’s nape, pulled him closer and his lips crashed on the younger’s soft and plump one.

The kiss is desperate. He is leaning closer, pushing his body, making any possible spaces in between them, disappear. It took seconds for Seungyoun to respond. When Seungwoo finally felt Seungyoun kissing him back, he bit the younger’s lower lip to open his mouth. He slips his tongue in, swirling it around Seungyoun’s tongue, sucking it hard, making the younger moan. It was an open mouthed kiss as both of them fight for dominance, both of them desperate to taste each other’s mouth.

Seungwoo licks on Seungyoun’s lip playfully. Giggling softly as Seungyoun thrusts his head closer to catch the older’s lips. Seungwoo sucks Seungyoun’s lower lip hard, diving in as he explores the inside of Seungyoun’s mouth with his tongue. Seungyoun clings his arms around Seungwoo’s neck as he kisses him back with equal intensity. He turns his head from side to side as he kisses Seungwoo deeply, eagerly. Seungyoun groaned in between the kiss he felt Seungwoo’s crotch brunshing on his. Before it goes down to something more, Seungyoun pulled away from the kiss and catches his breath. The older man slowly opens his eyes, leaning his forehead on Seungyoun’s, looking directly in his eyes.

Seungwoo smiled at him. The familiar smile he loves to see everyday. He moves his head farther and studies the younger’s face. He caresses Seungyoun’s cheeks, running his long and slim fingers on his jaw. He tuck the younger’s fringe behind his ears.

They looked at each other for few seconds, comfortable silence, but both are waiting for someone to speak up first.

“Younie, I am sorry.”

Seungyoun looked down, bit his lip, trying to fight the urge to cry. He misses his hyung so much, that even his sorry is enough to make him go back in his arms. But, he can’t let his feelings overpower him again.

“Wooseok was not my boyfriend. I just thought he liked me. He was always visiting me, giving me food. And when we were hanging out, he liked hugging and kissing me. So when I told the whole team I liked him, I was shocked because he said it was just part of his work as a school journalist.

He laughed at my confession and made fun of me being gay in front of many people. My old teammates always use that against me. Always making joke about me being a great player, and my weakness is being gay.

I- I was just…I was just scared of committing and taking another risk. So I thought being with you like how we were, it the best thing I could do to avoid getting hurt again.

But I was wrong, Younie. I didn’t realize that I am hurting you, too. I am really, sorry, my love. I know it’s hard to forgive me right away but….”

Seungwoo grabbed Seungyoun’s hand, holds it tightly, and raises it, pressing the back of the younger’s hand on his cheek.

“Please Seungyoun, give me another chance.”

He looked down; still holding the younger’s hand. He pressed his lips against the back of Seungyoun’s hand.

“Just say it, hyung. Please say it, because I don’t know what you feel about me. I want to hear it directly from you. Please I don’t want to –“

He was speaking incoherently because he is crying while explaining his side. Seungwoo understands what he wants to say and so he doesn’t need to let Seungyoun finish what he was trying to explain. He plants a soft kiss on the younger’s lip. He plants another kiss on Seungyoun’s cheeks, on the tip of his nose, and on his forehead.”

“I love you, Cho Seungyoun. I love you so much.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wooseok is about the same age as Seungwoo, here.  
Cho, Gyul and Yohan are about the same age here.  
Minhee stil 17 and Dohyon a bit older.
> 
> I decided to make this a multi-chapter fic. I havent decided how many chapters though, but it would not be to long!


End file.
